The Need Weed

What do we need? Okay. Let's see. You don't want to wake up in the morning to find that notorious fibre-from-last-night's-dinner sticking between your teeth. But life's not generous. You hope that the company that manufactures dish scrubbers takes over Pepsodent. But no! You cast a needy, impoverished glance at the scotch-brite in the bathroom. You choose to be a civilised human being. You let the fibre stay. You read about the 12 year old who was put away for sodomy in the news paper while sipping coffee. You want more. More sugar in your coffee. But then, you remember coming across 'sugar high' in the Urban Dictionary. You decide to leave sodomy for 12 year olds. You text your girl friend to apologise for being a pain in the pumpkin, but you realise your need is getting over you. So you stop beginning to give up. You give up texting her. You go to college only to find that you totally forgot about that Physics assignment that your favorite hairy halloween structure asked you to submit. You NEED it in 10 seconds. You NEED the time to stop. NOW. You blame your karma and wish you had sent that god forsaken text. It's evening and you walk back home with high-pitched ringing noise still crooning in your ears. You are in desperate NEED of some real refreshment. You try surfing porn, end up with a puke face watching all the plastic ramming against each other. You sense something happening down there. Growling stomach. You need food. You watch Fear Factor as you eat. The worms on TV squirm more than the plastic pornstars. You don't care. You keep chomping. You STOP. Something squimy touches your tongue. You make that puke face again. You stop again. You start chomping again when you realise that the squirmy thingy is just the fibre-from-last-night's-dinner. You think you definitely NEED that scoth-brite now.

You don't need to know what happened next. = |

The Morning Saga

The alarm shook me awake from beneath my pillow. (At a notorious fifty hertz perhaps) Cell phone alarms! If it were not for the snooze button, they would have been the most ruthless of anthropogenic creations, only next to reality shows. After forty minutes of more ‘snoozing,’ until it was illegal to call it forty winks anymore, I tumbled out of my bed like one of those semi-bent caveman who features somewhere in the middle of the stages-of-human-evolution picture. (Guess what, I had a toothbrush as a substitute for the club!) It didn’t take long for me to get all straightened up. One glance at the watch was all it took. I had just enough time to finish my ablutions when there were three more chapters to “mug up!” I hoped I vanished or was abducted by slimy paramecium-like aliens with cilia-laden tentacles. Then I stuck to vanishing. : | Then, I made a crash-course plan to finish all three chapters and still have time to check mail. All this ate up more time and I had to revamp the whole plan to two chapters and checking mail. (Well, I had no choice! : \) By the time it was fifteen minutes to go, I had to rush to bathroom abandoning the chapter that was half done. Almost. While in the bath, I prioritized, and scrubbed only some of the VIPs. (Very Important Places : \) Then I whooshed out looking like a semi-clad model running away from a bikini shoot. Still in the skimpy bath towel, I searched for my cell phone. Shelf-to-shelf, on the computer table, on the diwan, at every wire ending… I even opened the refrigerator door and slapped my forehead! Then I slapped my forehead again and ran to the bedroom. There it was, beneath the pillow! Within five minutes, I had to getclothedstuffmybagskipbreakfastrunhelterskelter and scurry out only to run like I was being chased by rabid hyenas (making calls and sending texts meanwhile) to get into the bus while I almost missed it!
I was breathing again!
But I knew I had forgotten something! I hadn't checked my mail!

HapPEE-Go-Yukkie!

My science teacher had once said, "Water helped life sprout up on this planet."
I was reminded of her when I saw the barren ground beneath that wall turned lush green after prolonged and collective pissing over it! To all those public unloaders out there, tell you what, no-one seems even remotely impressed, not my science teacher, not me, and not even Pachauri! (perhaps) Okay! What if cleanliness is next to godliness? Targetting public walls to keep your bathrooms clean is utterly rediculous! And, I don't think 'A City of Weird Fragrances' is as good or as extravagant as the 'Sin City.'
Consider this a suggestion from a random passerby-- Don't get carried away by the cheeky 'Live unbuttoned' ads on T.V. and stop unbuttoning everytime you see anything standing! Spare the city from your holy water. Don't piss its reputation right off!

11 things

Tia,

Pass me through a prism and these might possibly be the 11 visible colors of my spectrum:

My family:
It’s only amidst them that I make cavernous craters on my seat by shifting over it when some unexpected lewd ad pops up on T.V.!

My friends:
Talking of Orkut and them, they just scribble a testimonial and WAIT. Naïve and Non-expectant as they always are.

My glasses:
For those who think I can’t be anything without them: I can always be the See-No-Evil monkey.

Hyderabad:
It’s a city with a boisterous diversity of humanity. You can even find the evening strollers watching the sunset over the algae-green lake with their noses clipped.

Passers-by:
You ogle and watch their eyes go stare, stare not, stare, stare not…

Stuffed buses:
There’s every chance that you might mistake them to be mechanical peacocks, for our local heroes cling to the footboards in the formation of the bird’s spread-out tail.
And inside, people are seen imitating various Khajuraho sculptures.

Beige shoes:
The affinity between them just seems immortal. The shoes and the dirt, that is. Believe me, if it were my shoes in Kala pani, it would have given Mohan Lal a run for his money.

Soliloquizing:
I seem to have grown an addiction for it. Sometimes I even talk to my exam paper, which buys me some weird looks from the invigilator.

Cracking at high pitch:
This is the rowdiest part of music. I sound like a truck brought to a sudden screeching halt.

Smelly socks:
Thanks to them, we don’t buy mosquito repellents anymore.

Oh:
Yeah, I often realize things after it’s awfully too late.


Hey look! I am twice the size of Captain Planet already!

:)

zzz....

Dear Tia,

Flames of passion and colors of imagination brim within me. Just before this concoction erupts to unleash itself over the seemingly small domain around, I doze off!

Of late, sleep has become very dear to me. Dearer than Paneer and T.V.! I have been sleeping for all the wrong reasons, worse still, sleeping alone! (Oops!)

Tell you what, sleep is like slow poison, may be, even slower. When things seem awfully burdensome, sleep offers solace. For example, when a bulk of pending half-white pages with boring black letters teases me, I find my pillow very alluring! I wake up after hours from what should have been a forty winks only to find that things can be screwed up asleep!

Tia, I know what I am capable of and I also know that there is even more within that hasn’t hitherto been unearthed. Thanks to all the napping, I am, still, what I was.

My! All this typing is already making me drowsy!

Catch you after a nap!

Take care.

Lil' glitters :)

Dear Tia,

Did you ever feel like thanking everyone for no reason?

Ever looked at the night sky and fell in love with all those twinkling dots?

Ever enjoyed that coziness in a long exhale?

Tia, these are just those inexplicable feelings that I live to enjoy. Little things that we often overlook amidst all the so-called ‘priorities’, can really pep things up. Try smiling at all the mess around you once in a while, Tia, and you’ll see how things lighten up. Talking of smiling, I am not referring to the ‘Mahesh Babu wala smile’ that Sai Kiran fakes just before the camera’s flash. I am talking of that natural and lively smile which is somewhere close to the naive chuckle of a single toothed baby!

You just have to realise the presence of these lil' glitters around you, Tia, and then, you’ll really envy yourself for being what you are!

P.S. - I'm absolutely sure that Sai Kiran doesn't know my blog's URL !

Take care! :)

Celebration of life

Hello life,

I don’t remember if I was glad when I met you.

You are a celebration they say. Despite letdowns, I’m supposed to be happy for the very reason that I’m alive.

Guess what?

I am!

Every time I smile, there is one reason waiting out there to wipe it off my face.

I’m happy for you.

She was the love of my life, we held hands, we promised each other togetherness.
We broke up.

Yet, I am happy for you.

I can’t get a damned thing right. In fact, everything that seems correct to me is always mercilessly proven wrong.

Still, I am happy for you.

I scream out “Why?” and hear silence.

I’m happy for you.

Even when I fight with my brother for a silly thing like the TV’s remote, I get to watch what he watches.

Really happy!

Life, I am happy for you despite you.

Thanks life.

Love,
Me :)